Songs In Haiku – I Wouldn’t Mind

Song by He Is We

Forever with you?

Wrapped in your arms, so gently

Tell me: what’s the catch?



Hundred Word Wander – Behemoth

I always loved the water glass scene from Jurassic Park, the one where a dinosaur’s footsteps cause it all to shake.

Turns out it’s a lot less cool in real life, when the ‘dinosaurs’ dwarf a T-Rex thrice over.

“Was it always like this?”

I looked to the naive hero-to-be sitting across, decked out in school uniform.

“No,” I replied, taking a drag from my cigarette. “We just had monsters dropped on us from the rainbow sky god.”

“You’re pulling my leg, aren’t you?”

The cave shook violently as something enormous crashed outside.

“Oh look,” I said. “There’s one now.”

Hundred Word Wander – Identity

Ash blasted my lungs as I picked amongst the ruins, the sun beating down on my back. Coughing, I adjusted my goggles before continuing my search, spying a sharp glint out the corner of my eye. A minute later, I’d found my prize: a pristine, midnight black assault rifle.

“Well, aren’t you a beauty?” I said, rubbing my hands.

“Why thank you,” said the gun. “My appearance is my pride, after all!”

I jumped back, tripping over a broken girder.

“Don’t be afraid!” it exclaimed. “I am the ancient sword Excalibur!”

I frowned. “Do swords shoot bullets?”

“We do now!”

Hundred Word Wander – Coffee

The genie asked, “What should the world be made of, master?” I could’ve said anything. I could’ve made it out of diamonds, gold, fuckin’ happiness, I dunno.

But it was half seven in the morning, so of course I said coffee.

It’s not even the beans, either; it’s honest-to-God liquid coffee. I’m being sucked into this pungent whirlpool of stupidity, and all I know is that I’ve got a fuckin’ good excuse to be off work today.

I even consider drinking some, but then I see old Ben doing a gleeful backstroke.

Definitely not. The bastard drinks tea, after all.