Ash blasted my lungs as I picked amongst the ruins, the sun beating down on my back. Coughing, I adjusted my goggles before continuing my search, spying a sharp glint out the corner of my eye. A minute later, I’d found my prize: a pristine, midnight black assault rifle.
“Well, aren’t you a beauty?” I said, rubbing my hands.
“Why thank you,” said the gun. “My appearance is my pride, after all!”
I jumped back, tripping over a broken girder.
“Don’t be afraid!” it exclaimed. “I am the ancient sword Excalibur!”
I frowned. “Do swords shoot bullets?”
“We do now!”