Hundred Word Wander – Behemoth

I always loved the water glass scene from Jurassic Park, the one where a dinosaur’s footsteps cause it all to shake.

Turns out it’s a lot less cool in real life, when the ‘dinosaurs’ dwarf a T-Rex thrice over.

“Was it always like this?”

I looked to the naive hero-to-be sitting across, decked out in school uniform.

“No,” I replied, taking a drag from my cigarette. “We just had monsters dropped on us from the rainbow sky god.”

“You’re pulling my leg, aren’t you?”

The cave shook violently as something enormous crashed outside.

“Oh look,” I said. “There’s one now.”

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Hundred Word Wander – Identity

Ash blasted my lungs as I picked amongst the ruins, the sun beating down on my back. Coughing, I adjusted my goggles before continuing my search, spying a sharp glint out the corner of my eye. A minute later, I’d found my prize: a pristine, midnight black assault rifle.

“Well, aren’t you a beauty?” I said, rubbing my hands.

“Why thank you,” said the gun. “My appearance is my pride, after all!”

I jumped back, tripping over a broken girder.

“Don’t be afraid!” it exclaimed. “I am the ancient sword Excalibur!”

I frowned. “Do swords shoot bullets?”

“We do now!”

Hundred Word Wander – Coffee

The genie asked, “What should the world be made of, master?” I could’ve said anything. I could’ve made it out of diamonds, gold, fuckin’ happiness, I dunno.

But it was half seven in the morning, so of course I said coffee.

It’s not even the beans, either; it’s honest-to-God liquid coffee. I’m being sucked into this pungent whirlpool of stupidity, and all I know is that I’ve got a fuckin’ good excuse to be off work today.

I even consider drinking some, but then I see old Ben doing a gleeful backstroke.

Definitely not. The bastard drinks tea, after all.

Hundred Word Wander – Spy

The target bought a grande cappuccino at Costa, 10:35.

She checked her phone as she waited for it to cool. Every so often, her gaze would go askance, towards a tall man a table down. He had also bought a grande cappuccino, five minutes before. The man seemed preoccupied himself, watching something outside of the café.

Then I noticed their clothes. Long, brown trenchcoat, sunglasses, dipped fedora. Waistcoats and formal shirts, prim and proper. Thick, black boots ready for walking.

Suddenly, I looked behind me, and I saw the third, a smaller man in the same garb.

I sighed.

Not again.